For those who Gin and Bear Life, Think Gin Club has created some excellent gin jokes to help raise your spirits. These rib-ticklers will be sure to raise a smile to your face and be even funnier after some of our quality gin cocktails!
If you’d like to enjoy some of the finest artisan craft gin to make these jokes funnier, then sign-up to Think Gin Club today! You can get craft gin delivered to your door on a monthly, bi-monthly and quarterly basis.
Scroll through our list of gin jokes! If we’ve missed some good ones, we’d love to hear yours. Contact us through our contact form to share yours.
What Joke do Gin Lovers Like to Play?
Gin-ga!
A German Walks into the bar and asks the barman: “Two Gins Please.”
The barman asks: “Dry?”
The German replies: “Nein, Zwei”
Gallons of gin has been spilt all over the M25!
Now every lane is the sloe lane.
A horse walks into a bar and asks for a gin and tonic.
The barman says, “that’s “£15” please, and I must say we don’t get many horses in here”. The horse replies, “With prices that high, I’m not surprised.”
I Ran Over a Bottle of Gin the Other Day on My Bike.
I’ve now got a sloe puncture.
What Did the Doctor Say When He Prescribed Medicine to the Sick Gin?
That’ll be just the tonic!
A Bear Walks into a bar and says: “Gin and……tonic please”
The barman responds: “No problem, why the long pause?”
The bear replies: “I don’t know, I was just born with them.”
A Fish Walks into a Bar.
“What’ll it be?”, the bartender asks. “Gin, whiskey?”
“Water” the fish says, and collapses.
I’m on the Gin & Tonic Diet and it’s going great.
So far, I’ve lost two days.
I drank so much gin last night,
I’ve woken up with a London Dry accent.
Woman: I love you.
Man: Is that the gin talking?
Woman: No, that’s me talking to the gin.
What Do You Call Someone Who’s Never Had a G&T?
A virgin.
A Man Walks into a Bar With a Roll of Tarmac Under His Arm.
He says: “A large gin and tonic please, and one for the road.”
A man is driving along a road heading to see his wife and sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road. Thinking he could do with the company, he stops and lets the hitchhiker in, offering him a ride home.
The hitchhiker was grateful, and soon notices a large bottle of gin on the floor of the passenger sides. Not wanting the hitchhiker to get any ideas, the driver says: “Ah, I got that bottle for my wife.”
The hitchhiker says nothing for a while, before replying: “Good trade”.
What do you call a super watered down spirit with all the oxygen removed?
Hydro-gin
Charles Dickens Walks into a Bar and Orders a Martini.
The Bartender Asks: “Olive or Twist?”
Why Did the Bartender not Serve Gin to the Cat?
To prevent it from becoming catatonic.
What Drink Did Obi-Wan Kenobi Order to Toast His Former Master?
Qui-Gon Gin
A Bar of Chocolate Walks into a Bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: “One gin and tonic please.”
The bartender responds: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve food here.”
What do the band TOTO say when they order a G&T?
Hold the lime
A Grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic.
The bartender says: “You know, we have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper looks around and says, “You have a drink named Irving?”
Did you hear why the gin broke up with the tonic?
Their relationship was on the rocks.
What Does a Geologist order at a bar?
Gin & Tectonic… On the Rocks
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